PARODY WEBSITE — NOTHING HERE IS REAL OR FOR SALE Satire only. No illegal goods, services, transactions, shipping, or checkout.
Crimazon parody website hero banner stating nothing is real or for sale
No purchases
No deliveries
No vendors
Satire only

Featured “products”

100% fictional inventory

Getaway Socks thigh-high fictional parody product image SPEED: NOPE
Escape & Evade

Getaway Socks

Run faster in your imagination.

$8.08
not real money
Skimask fictional parody product image Winter Ready
Escape & Evade

Ski Mask

Totally Low Profile.

$14.99
not real money
Skimask fictional parody product image Tomfoolery Grade
Escape & Evade

Clown Mask

For Serious Tomfoolery

$19.99
not real money
Skimask fictional parody product image Panic Exit Approved
Escape & Evade

Chicken Suit

Bawk Your Way Out

$49.99
not real money
Skimask fictional parody product image Promises Not Included
Escape & Evade

Red Tie of Politics

Promises Sold Separately

$24.99
not real money

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